Saturday, June 2, 2012

You make beautiful things: Our first child

I grew up with a hard working mom (most of the times she had 2 jobs) a dad (he was, and still is silly, playful and loving then was burdened with Frontal Lobe Dementia diagnosed when I was in early high school), and a sister (sweet,but very much different from me in our likes and interest).

About 7 months ago at the baby shower for my precious niece, Tinsley, that my sister and her hubby adopted... she's ADORABLE!
I grew up closer to my dad's side of the family, we saw them all once a week at my Yia yia's, Grandma in Greek, for Sunday lunch.  Yep, 6 girls... 2 girls from each son = a whole lotta estrogen! haha

Such beautiful ladies, inside and out!
So once I got married and gained a husband and 2 brother-in-laws, I saw life in a different light... the easy breezy fart, punch, laugh, I'll see ya when I see ya boy lifestyle; which might I add, was COMPLETELY different from what I grew up with!

haha random picture of the burial of Penny and Springer, their beagles ashes at Easter :)

Yep so Charles's side looks like this:

His dad is 1 of 3 sons > Charles is 1 of 3 sons > and Mike (Charles' brother on the right) has 2 sons.

There last girl in the Barrett family is his cousin, who is 27 and has a sweet little boy of her own.  So little Miss Brooke is catching all of the Barrett's off guard with her arrival!  haha I am seriously praying that she is loved by her boy cousins and included... I would hate to have a little princess on my hands that hates to play with cousins :(

My side, welp that makes #8... 6 cousins, already 1 niece and now Brooke!

Don't get me wrong, girls are great! I'm a girl and I think I'm pretty extraordinary... haha pride comes before the fall, but in my heart I didn't feel like I was carrying a little lady and was really looking forward to a son.  I am not disappointed, just shocked, I always had hoped and prayed to have a son first.  I had prayed this because once my Dad's dementia set in, life was tough!  Mom working a lot, an older sister that I didn't have much in common with, and no strong male role model in my life... I thought an older protective brother would fix that, when in fact, the only male figure I needed to get me through the tough times was my Heavenly Father.

My aunt put it this way, "See, the Lord has already blessed you with an amazing husband (soon to be Father) you're taken care of, he will be that strong role model for you and your daughter... you don't need to worry about having a back up."  Bless her heart...

Here's how I looked at the first child situation... Boy vs Girl

You love em
Pick them up and brush them off when they scratch their knees and tell them to be tough
Give them a ball or blocks and their happy
Simple t-shirt and shorts will do
Teach them about Jesus
Push them around and wrestle with them
Go camping, play sports, get messy and muddy
Teach them how to treat girls nicely
Pray they are smart and do well in school
Pray for their future wife
Prepare them to be a Godly husband and send them off

You love em
Hold them, cuddle them, dance with them, play dress up with them
Kiss every boo boo and hold them until they're okay
Give them a doll, a tea set, or some other girly toy and play make believe
Braids, bows, ruffles, pink, purple, glitter...
Teach them about Jesus
Twirl them around and be gentle with them
Stay clean, pick flowers, play with barbies and sing songs
Pray they like sports, if not take them to ballet recitals
Teach them how to be nice to boys and not just chase after them and kiss them
Pray they are smart and do well in school
Worry about peer pressure and what other girls are wearing
Shaving your legs and wearing make up
Not making the cheerleading squad
Body image and eating disorders
Being defiant and not getting along with your Mom
Getting their period
Making sure they dress modestly
Teaching them how to serve others and be hospitable
Teaching them to be graceful and polite and not walk all over people
Praying for their future husband

haha okay okay, yes, I have lived a tough 25 years! I think I've dealt with all of this, and more! Since I've been married, I cannot recount the times I have said to Charles, "Gosh! It's soooooooooo much easier to be a boy!"  and all he says is "Yep"!

When we found out we were having a girl my heart sunk... I so badly wanted it to be a boy.  Moment of truth here, I looked over at Charles and said "I'm so sorry, I hope you're not disappointed."  Yep, punch in the gut right there.  I guess I assumed if you have a boy first, they're resilient and easier to raise and having a little girl later on down the line would be ideal.

God has our sweet Brooke Grayson in his hands and she being formed perfectly inside of me. I so badly want to guard her from everything that I experienced.

I never want her to...
Feel fat
Feel like she's not beautiful, perfect and loved
Be embarrassed for having hair body parts she has to shave
Be marked as uncool or rejected from the "cool girls"
Feel MORTIFIED when she gets her period for the first time
Like a boy and he doesn't like her back
Deal with a miscarriage

And I could go on and on and on... I think the root of it is, yeah, a boy would be easy, Charles has to teach him how to be a man and I just have to be Mommy who makes yummy food that he can cuddle with but with a girl... we can't mess up. We have to teach her how much she's worth, protect her heart and teach her how to not get lost in the crowd, but then again not to trample all over everyone... gulp.  Yes, this is a huge challenge and I pray daily the Lord blesses us with his grace and knowledge how to raise a woman of God.

The dreaded doll and Barbie aisle...

I was talking to my mom and whining about girls stuff... "But mom, I don't want people to buy us frilly dresses and pink sparkly crap, I want her to play with stuffed animals, play food, bubbles, balls and music toys not dolls and tea sets!"   This is going to sound terrible but, I hate the word PRINCESS... I have never nor will ever want to be called or treated like a princess... all things girly make me cringe.  My mom said I took my sister's Barbie's and squished their heads into their necks and would rather be outside jumping on the trampoline or playing restaurant on the sewage grate, making mud pies out of dirt and leaves... I pray Brooke is just like her momma... a firecracker!

Yep, Olivia (Raven Simone) from The Cosby Show... or Sheryl Yoast from Remember the Titans, a hilarious, fearless spitfire who is loving and compassionate to everyone she meets and wouldn't hurt a fly (but isn't afraid to touch a bug).

 Sheryl Yoast: Coach Boone, you did a good job up here. You ran a tough camp from what I can see.
Coach Boone: Well I'm very happy to have the approval of a 5 year old.
Sheryl Yoast: I'm 9 and a half, thank you very much.
Coach Boone: Why don't you get this little girl, some pretty dolls or something coach?
Coach Yoast: I've tried. She loves football.

I want her to be at NCSU sporting events yelling with her mom and dad at the players not whining because she wants to play dolls and make believe with her friends instead.

Sorry for the emotional upchuck... this is life, my life, our life.  My mom said "Never let Brooke know you wanted a boy," true, that's not good to dwell on something and be disappointed.  We're not.  We're OVERJOYED to have a healthy sweet little lady joining our family in November, I just needed to take a moment to hash it out in my over emotional blubbering brain :)  Love y'all... dearly. Thanks for the prayers and support!

A sweet friends precious little girl...
The future looks bright! I can't wait until that's my lil Miss Brooke Grayson in my arms... I know her first breath will take ours away :)


  1. I just loved this post! First of all, it is nearly impossible to avoid pink clothes for the first year...I tried...not going to happen. :). I still avoid the pink aisles at the store, currently, she has a huge scrape on her chin that makes me happy because she has played, but she still has learned to bring me hair bows and holds them up to her hair for me to put in and anything that is circular will be worn as a bracelet...where did she learn that? I never wear bracelets other than a hair scrunchy! But I love it and secretly, I am loving teaching her to love her baby in hopes that she will have one someday and I hope that she can learn to cook and be crafty, but I will take her camping once a year...I can promise you that! Thanks for this post and I am beyond excited for you guys!

  2. aww thanks Leslie! Your little one is ADORABLE!!! I appreciate all of the prayers, support and tips I can learn from momma's of little girls! Keep that blog updated for me :)