Okay, I've debated and debated about writing this, but I finally realized, like most things, that once I get it off my chest and surrender it to the Lord, it helps me move on.
Today, no this week, I feel like my "boss" is telling me I'm in the wrong profession. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE working the morning and being at home with Brooke for the rest of the day, but apparently I suck at it. At daycare, they consistently get her to take at least an hour nap in the morning... I get maybe 40 minutes from her and then that ruins any chance of a good afternoon nap. Yes, I know she has been sick, but when I'm sick, I want to sleep. Either Brooke loves me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much she just can't bear to close her eyes, or I'm terrible at reading her sleepy cues and screwing her of a good nap in the morning and afternoon.
Oh yes, and did I mention I've somehow messed up the whole night time sleep thing too? haha yeah regardless of the time I put Brooke down at night, she wakes up at 5:30 on.the.dot. Okay, almost on the dot. So lets recap. Around 10 hours of sleep at night and maybe 2 hours naps during the day = 12 hours total. MOST other people have their children sleeping 12 hours at night and 3-4 hours during the day = 15.5 hours. And it's not that she's playing in her crib, so she's fussing and crying and won't rest. Then I try to get her to sleep in my arms, and she just wants to play with my face and make me laugh. UGH. SO either Brooke just doesn't need a lot of sleep or I am clueless on how to get my child the proper amount of sleep.
My house is a mess, I haven't plucked my eyebrows in who knows when, and I honestly feel like anyone else could fix this sleep issue but for some reason, not me. Yes. I am whining and complaining because I feel like a bad mom. I am hardly contributing financially and our precious child's schedule is so inconsistent, I feel like I messed up some how. Yes, she can walk, smiles and plays all day, can say 10-15 words, but when it comes to sleeping, I missed the memo and am doing something wrong. I've given up on reading articles/blogs and books on sleep. Been there, done that... none of it works for me.
And yes, she is napping now. It only took me an hour and 15 minutes, a diaper change, busting out the bottles that were stored away, thawing expressed milk, holding her til she was almost asleep and then sitting with my hand on her back until she was all of the way asleep. And I'm guessing it will only be a 30 minute nap. Mommy fail.
With all that said, Lord, help me to be a better child. Help me to listen to you and seek your peace, patience and wisdom. Allow me to see where I need to adjust things in my life to be a better Mom and Wife and create more harmony in my home. God, please take away the doubt that is in my mind right now and the terrible feeling I have that I am worthless at raising our child. Reveal to me, if it is your will what Brooke needs or what I need to do to make nap time less of a battle and get the proper amount of sleep for this child. God I love you, especially because you hear my silly prayer and smile. You are full of patience and remind me daily that I am not in control. Amen.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Height: 27 3/4"
Weight: 16lbs 15oz
Likes: Sweet Potato Puffs (seriously, every other time we walk into the kitchen she points to the pantry and grunts until we go over and get some! Brooke loves animals! Any random person walking their dog in the neighborhood is free game for a Brooke smile and squeal! She welcomes their slobbery kisses with delight! We have a local pet store and B likes to go and see the bunnies, kittens and hamsters. She's STILL a Mama's girl and still loves anything soft! Wait... I forgot to add this important fact... BROOKE LIKES TAKING A BATH NOW! Yes, NO TEARS! She'll play and splash and she actually sits down now! This is sweet relief, I mean really. It only took 12 months for this child to enjoy getting a bath!
Dislikes: Still hates getting her finger nails trimmed :( Doesn't really care for eating from a spoon/being fed (Miss Independent) Ahhh here's one I never put in this series of blog posts - Brooke DOES NOT LIKE THE SUN IN HER EYES! Seriously, she FREAKS if we're driving or in the stroller and the slightest sliver of sun flashes across her eyes. You would think someone was torturing her! She immediately arches her back and blows a gasket if the bright rays decide to intrude in her personal space. But, she loves being outside on a sunny day. If you can't tell, Brooke's a wildcard. All. The. Time. You never know what's going to push her buttons! haha
Sleeping: Still 2 naps a day and 10-11 hours at night. She started this new separation anxiety type thing and fights sleeping unless you're touching her or right by her crib. We've had to start a modified cry it out/check system again to ensure we get sleep at night. This involves A LOT of conversation before naps/beds trying to soothe her and explain that she's safe and protected in her bed and praises "wow what a big girl sleeping so good in your crib!" when she wakes up.
Eating: Brooke LOVES food, most days! The only way I can tell a tooth is about to pop is if she doesn't eat well. Seriously, she's not a fussy teether at all! It's awesome! Her pain tolerance is amazing! She'll eat near bout anything, except if it's something semi solid on a spoon... it hits the floor with her agressive FLING before making it to her mouth! Right now, Brooke's favorite is a turkey sandwich I made up one day (half a piece of wheat bread, half a slice of turkey, pumpkin spice cream cheese, cut into tiny pieces) Seriously, she hoovers it! Oh yes, and Brooke only nurses morning and night and gets sippy cups of thawed breast milk other times during the day. I think I'll introduce whole milk soon. By the way, Aunt Flo has only come once... I'm still waiting or this month, she's late!
Playing: Little love is getting a lot more independent! Some days. haha she always loves playing with Mom and Dad but sometimes we catch her off in her own world exploring, which is great! She likes all of her soft stuffed animals and is enjoying her new toys from her birthday! A lot of times, she chooses to read with us during play time, it's adorable! We read the same books over and over again. Any given week, we read 5 stories (though she has over 50). She chooses her favorites for a while, and then we don't touch them for another few weeks! She points to what she wants and if you pick one she doesn't want to read, she rudely pushes it away and reaches for the one she wants! Some days we hold up 2 or 3 and let her pick, it's fun! 75% of the time, Brooke can accurately tell me the noise a dog, cat, elephant and chicken make! She loves talking!
Welp, that's all folks! I'm stopping at 12 months. I enjoyed it and hope to look back at these for future babies, whenever the Lord decides to bless us! Thanks for your interest in our sweet girl!