Monday, May 21, 2012

You make beautiful things: 15 almost 16 week update

Here's me at 15 weeks and 5 days...
Nasty, stinky and sweaty after 1 hour of Zumba! Yes, the ladies wonder if I'm going to keep doing Zumba 2 times a week until November... Lord willing, I will and this child will come out dancing with all the hip shaking I do!
All dressed up for a friend's bridal shower.
A little baby belly.

Tuesday I have my AFP blood test, it tests for "'neural tube defect' (or NTD). Neural tube defects occur when there are problems with the development of the baby's brain, skull and spinal cord very early in the pregnancy. The defect causes part of the baby's spinal cord to be exposed (called 'spina bifida'), or the baby's brain fails to grow (called 'anencephaly'). People born with spina bifida can have various levels of brain damage and often a weakness or paralysis of their legs. However, they often lead very full and active lives. Babies born with anencephaly cannot survive outside the womb and die soon after birth" (source)

This is the only optional test we are taking because it is covered by insurance.  Regardless of the outcome of the test, we will not abort the child, as some may choose to do.  Next Wednesday... the 30th, we find out if Baby Barrett is a boy or a girl!!! I will be doing some of the old wives tales and post about them before Wednesday :)

Monday, May 14, 2012

You make beautiful things: Acceptance

So, I always use to get on people about not posting belly picture updates and now... look at me... I haven't posted one yet and we're 15 weeks!  My apologies.  But, the bigger issue here is my mind and my heart accepting that I am pregnant.

I am so thankful for this little blessing growing inside me, but I'm paranoid.  Everything I feel, everything I do... I worry that something may be wrong with this pregnancy and I can't do anything about it. I am constantly "googling" things in an effort to not make a mistake.

Here's a few things that cycle through my mind on any any given day:
1. If I eat this, will it harm the baby?
2. Why did I let myself get so out of shape before I got pregnant?
3. I never thought I'd be this weight when I got pregnant and now I can't change it.
4. I'm so afraid to get in a good workout for fear of harming the baby (just zumba and walking).
5. What did I do last time to cause the miscarriage? Could it happen now?
6. Yes, every time I go to the bathroom, I have a fear I will be bleeding.
7. I compare myself to others that are expecting and how they look/act.
8. I had a hard time saying "thank you" when people wished me a happy Mother's Day for fear I wasn't really a mother yet.
9. I really want some way to know if the baby is okay, another ultrasound/peak into my womb.
10. I watch TV shows and read blogs and think that may baby might have some rare disability that I caused somehow without knowing.
11. I had hoped to be younger having my first child.
12. Will we have a hard time conceiving again? (we would love to have 3-4 kids)

And on and on and on...

I pray daily that the Lord is protecting me and the baby inside me and that he would spare us from any harm.  I also pray that I would release this fear and anxiety and be able to feel beautiful and enjoy the next 5 months.  I so badly want to be able to look into the future to see our little one safe and healthy in my arms in November... but I can't.  I deeply desire to be the joyful, care free "Kim" and not over analyze everything that goes through my mind.

Sorry, I had to write this out.  Maybe this is a way of releasing it to the Lord and abandoning outcomes, maybe it is just another way to help me clear my mind.  God is good and babies are a miracle.  I guess I still am having a hard time believing I am with child after our first complication.  There are many women that go years without success in pregnancy and I pray sincerely that they will be filled with hope.  

Thanks again for your prayers and encouragement! We are overwhelmed at the love and excitement from family and friends about our announcement.  Please continue to think of us and that I would be able to relax and stop worrying... thanks ya'll.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

You make beautiful things: 1+1=3



Well hello friends and family!

If you're here you obviously know... We're expecting our first bundle of joy!  Throughout the past year it has been a true blessing to grow closer to the Lord and to each other during our time loss with our first miscarriage but now, we rejoice because we have been blessed with a precious life growing inside of me!

Charles and I are beyond excited about our new addition, that should be making his/her grand appearance in November, and we covet your prayers and support during these next 5-6 months and beyond!

And no, this is not primarily a pregnancy blog but I will be using it as a way to share updates on Baby Barrett's growth and any questions/situations that arise.

Okay, here's a little of our back story...
September 23, 2011 - Positive pregnancy test
November 8th, 2011 - Dr.'s appointment confirming miscarriage (blighted ovum)
November 11th, 2011 - Passed gestational sac, miscarriage complete

Insert a few months of prayer, sadness, wrestling with God feeling like our lives were flashing before our eyes.  Honestly, it felt like EVERYONE was pregnant and we were left out.  Questions arose in my mind, "maybe I was wrong all along, maybe the Lord never wanted me to be a mother, maybe I should just stop thinking I could even actually get pregnant, and if I do, by some miracle, then I'll change my attitude and be happy."  Wow, Satan is a lil stinker and he tried his best to sneak in and take over, to rob me of my joy and tear me down. We didn't look into any fertility specialists or even consult our doctor about medicine, we just prayed and "enjoyed being husband and wife" and let God take control!

December 1st, 2011 - Turned 25
December 20th, 2011 - Celebrated our 3rd anniversary

February 28th, 2012 - Positive Pregnancy test
March 14th, 2012 - First OB Appt. for our first ultrasound
April  12th, 2012 - 2nd OB Appt.

It's scary seeing the "real" me,  just woke up w/no make up... glad Charles still loves me!
Alright, lets break down those last 3 dates:

February 28th, 2012
I took the test, as I had been doing the last few months not expecting a positive outcome, I had the cheap Dollar Tree tests and I woke up and this time saw it was positive.  I know this sounds terrible, but I don't even think I cried.  Unless you have experienced the extreme joy, of thinking you were pregnant, and then experienced the gut wrenching loss of losing a pregnancy, you might not understand my emotions here.  This morning is a blur.  I think I woke up Charles, but I don't remember.  I was so guarded, what little joy I had seemed to be overcome by the overwhelming thoughts of, "but we may not be pregnant..."  So I called the doctor, gave them my information and said this was super early, about 4 weeks.

They had me come in a day or two after that to get blood work to see if my HCG levels were multiplying, and they were. This wasn't done last time, so I had nothing to compare to, other than crap I found online. So, they then picked a date, March 14th for us to come in for our first ultrasound to see if the pregnancy was viable.

March 14th, 2012
We had already told a few people, parents, life group, etc. about the possible pregnancy so we'd have some prayer warriors to combat our gloomy outlook.  We went to the same Dr. as last time, and sat and waited and waited and waited to get taken in.  They did minimal tests, height, weight, blood pressure, urine sample and sent me to the "GYN" side of the practice.  We waited and waited, and finally they took us back to the ultrasound room.  The Ultrasound Tech politely asked, "So, what are you guys in here for today?" hahaha I looked at Charles and was like... REALLY!? This was not a great start to the appointment.   She then said, "No, really, your documents don't tell me what you're in here for." Greaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttt, so we told her, we had a miscarriage 4 months ago and we just had a positive pregnancy test a few weeks ago and the Dr. wanted us to come in for an early ultrasound to see if this was a viable pregnancy...

Deep breath, my word, I felt like chopped liver! The tech was super nice and began the procedure.

The first image on the screen was an empty uterus, I looked at Charles and exclaimed "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?"  I was so upset and I couldn't believe my body, once again "faked pregnant". 

The tech then said "wait wait wait, I'm not there yet", to then reveal a tiny little lima bean shaped addition the screen.  Once again, I didn't cry.  My emotions were so numb that I didn't know what to do.  She did the entire work up, showed us many different things, took some measurements and confirmed a 6 week, 1 day embryo with a heartbeat of 117 that we could see, and hear, loud and clear... PRAISE GOD!

6 weeks and 1 day... see the tiny seed in the top left

Here's the detailed picture to help ya out :)
She gave us a ton of pictures and we left the room to talk to the Dr.  I don't think he called me Eeyore, but I could tell he saw the little gray cloud following close above my head.  He then scheduled us 4 weeks out for another ultrasound, blood work, insurance and said "Congratulations Momma and Daddy."

The weeks following were filled with I feel like I'm sleeping on a deep sea fishing boat restless nights, finding new semi-comfortable ways to sleep, trying to find foods that were actually appetizing to cook/eat.  Yes, I feel different from last time, I haven't uttered the words "I can't wait until I actually feel pregnant," this time around but I still wanted that confirmation.

April 12th, 2012

Amazing appointment! We got right in, put some jelly on my belly and up popped our little one :)
10 weeks and 2 day appointment, measuring 10 weeks 6 days!


Detailed picture again... my mom says she can't tell what's what :)


A little over 1.5 inches, arms and legs moving like crazy, and a heart rate of 175.  We are so thankful and so blessed!

May 1st, 2012
We had another appointment Tuesday and we'll find out the sex late May :) Baby Barrett should be about 3" long now.  We heard a strong heartbeat, very quickly (she didn't tell us the actual bpm, but guessed it was about 150).

We have been waiting so long to announce the good news on the blog/facebook! 

Please continue to have Charles and I in your prayers as well as our little one!  We are overjoyed to meet our new addition in November!

Sorry, I've been really bad at taking "belly" pictures.  I think I have one or two, but you can't really see anything, just bigger boobs and a thicker around the mid section! haha more pictures to come soon and we find out if we're having ...



on May 30th!

For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well. 
Psalm 139:13-14

Monday, April 23, 2012

Good Finds: Apple peeler, corer slicer

So ever since I attended my first Pampered Chef party, ehhh 15 years ago, my mom is a Kindergarten TA and I went along to all the "parties" with her, I have been obsessed with this invention!  SOOOOOO cool! But, I'm so cheap, I never wanted to pay the price they were selling for.  Every time I go to a Goodwill, I keep my eye out for one, and finally, the other day, I landed one!! Wooooo hooo, I was a happy girl!

Note, it's not Pampered Chef and it was a whopping $2.59 :)

So thankfully, we had 2 gala apples at home.  I got home, rinsed everything off, yeah yeah yeah I know I should have sterilized the contraption but I was too eager to peel, core and slice my yummy gala apple!

1. The clamp doesn't open wide enough for our counter so I had to put in on a TV tray.
2. The peeler function didn't work and it mushed the beginning of the apple.
3. One we got it started... PERFECTION! Soooo stinkin cool!
4. It cored like a champ!
5. Eating apples this way is just too fun :)
6. After we completed our 2 apples, we looked in the box and found a missing part... oops, haha guess we'll need to buy a few more apples and try out that peeling function again!

Here we go...

See the apple mush? This was before we fully tightened the clamp...

Almost finished...

Perfection! Look at that fun apple!

 Anyways, once we get the peeler function working, I can turn into an apple pie making machine, yep my old youth pastor's wife gave me an AMAZING recipe that I adore (thanks Bekah)!


Monday, April 16, 2012

From our kitchen to yours: 100 Foods to try before you die

So, as you can tell from this blog, and from pictures of me and my hubby... we like to eat! hahaha we tease that we are the "fat" ones of our friends! haha all kidding aside, we love food and exercise.

I stumbled across this list of foods you should eat before you die and decided to see how I matched up in the culinary world.  I like good food, not fussy,  fancy gourmet items, so I don't think I will EVER complete this list.  Check it out and see how many you can cross off :)

Using the list below, count off how many of these 100 foods you’ve already tried. I’ve crossed off the 53 foods that I’ve eaten. What’s your number? I got 46 ... not too shabby :)
  1. Abalone
  2. Absinthe
  3. Alligator
  4. Baba Ghanoush
  5. Bagel & lox
  6. Baklava
  7. BBQ Ribs
  8. Bellini
  9. Birds Nest Soup
  10. Biscuits & Gravy
  11. Black Pudding
  12. Black Truffle
  13. Borscht
  14. Calamari
  15. Carp
  16. Caviar
  17. Cheese Fondue
  18. Chicken and Waffles
  19. Chicken Tikka Masala
  20. Chile Relleno
  21. Chitlins
  22. Churros
  23. Clam Chowder
  24. Cognac
  25. Crab Cakes
  26. Crickets
  27. Currywurst
  28. Dandelion Wine
  29. Dulce De Leche
  30. Durian
  31. Eel
  32. Eggs Benedict
  33. Fish Tacos
  34. Foie Gras
  35. Fresh Spring Rolls
  36. Fried Catfish
  37. Fried Green Tomatoes
  38. Fried Plantain
  39. Frito Pie
  40. Frogs’ Legs
  41. Fugu 
  42. Funnel Cake
  43. Gazpacho
  44. Goat
  45. Goat's Milk
  46. Goulash
  47. Gumbo
  48. Haggis
  49. Head Cheese
  50. Heirloom Tomatoes
  51. Honeycomb
  52. Hostess Fruit Pie
  53. Huevos Rancheros
  54. Jerk Chicken
  55. Kangaroo
  56. Key Lime Pie
  57. Kobe Beef
  58. Lassi
  59. Lobster
  60. Mimosa
  61. Moon Pie
  62. Morel Mushrooms
  63. Nettle Tea
  64. Octopus
  65. Oxtail Soup Paneer
  66. Paella
  67. Paneer
  68. Pastrami on Rye
  69. Pavlova
  70. Phaal
  71. Philly Cheese Steak
  72. Pho
  73. Pineapple & Cottage Cheese
  74. Pistachio Ice Cream
  75. Po’ Boy
  76. Pocky
  77. Polenta
  78. Prickly Pear
  79. Rabbit Stew
  80. Raw Oysters
  81. Root Beer Float
  82. S’mores
  83. Sauerkraut
  84. Sea Urchin
  85. Shark 
  86. Snail
  87. Snake
  88. Soft Shell Crab
  89. Som Tam
  90. Spaetzle
  91. Spam
  92. Squirrel
  93. Steak Tartare
  94. Sweet Potato Fries
  95. Sweetbreads
  96. Tom Yum
  97. Umeboshi
  98. Venison
  99. Wasabi Peas
  100. Zucchini Flowers

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Sounds like life to me: Momma Mamie

I received a facebook message this morning from a dear family friend of ours regarding her mom, my godmother's sudden passing due to a massive stroke and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  My prayers and love goes to her husband, Mr. Arlos out in Crowell, TX and the family that will be traveling there for the service.

Momma Mamie is the "fiery redhead on the left" this was taken a little less than 3 years ago in Dallas, TX.

I know I will get a lot of this information wrong but this is my memories of Momma Mamie and Mr. Arlos: 
1. Growing up, they were our next door neighbors in Cary, NC

2. No, they are not blood related, but they loved me and my sister as we were their children.

3. They were from way down south, TX and Louisiana and were all things country, guns, country music, crawdads, and skinny dipping.

4. We were always welcome in their home at anytime of the day/night.

5. One morning when I was in elementary school I wanted french fries for breakfast and my mom would make them for me, so I high tailed it over to their house and Momma Mamie fixed them for me :)

6. I'm almost positive they disciplined me more than my parents, but it was out of love.

7. We use to ride around town with the windows down in her Maroon Bronco blasting "friends in low places" and other country greats.

8. They had daughters and granddaughters we probably thought, and still to today consider cousins and we miss them dearly.

9. Momma Mamie loved Mickey Mouse, every time she went to the eye doctor she'd get a tiny Mickey sticker on her sunglasses lens.

10. My mom LOVED her jambalaya and red beans and rice.

11. Momma Mamie use to tell me that she was going to sneak into the back seat of my future "dates" car and make sure there was no hanky panky going on, I think she even said she'd have a shot gun with her :)

12. When they left Cary, they moved to another town about an hour or so away and she had her dream, and in ground swimming pool! We'd go over and play on hot summer days, but beware, if you show up unannounced she may be swimming naked as a jaybird in her pool (and she would encourage you to do the same!) Though she never got us in there nude :)

13. When they moved to Texas, we still kept in touch by mail and phone calls, it was always a delight to hear her sweet voice.

14. I was able to travel to Dallas, TX for work in September of 2010 and her and Mr. Arlos picked me up in their shiny red truck and took me out to Chili's.  I brought photos of my wedding and my family and we caught up.  We didn't skip a beat... it felt like we picked up exactly where we left off.

15. We spoke many more times on the phone after that, she was informing me on their health/surgeries and all the great grand babies, and how me and Charles needed to come out to their property in TX and shoot her guns.  She was so proud to hear my southern accent and my gun knowledge, especially the fact that I have a concealed carry permit.  She said her favorite gun was the Judge, and I could come and shoot hers anytime :)

16.  We last spoke about 2 months ago on the phone.  Seriously, every time we were saying goodbye, I cried.

This ragin' cajun' held a very special place in my heart and I am so blessed to have been loved by her.  I pray for Mr. Arlos and the family as they heal from their loss. I pray she is dancing in Heaven and leading everyone in Garth Brooks and Dolly Parton songs :)

Monday, April 9, 2012