Thursday, May 3, 2012

You make beautiful things: 1+1=3

Well hello friends and family!

If you're here you obviously know... We're expecting our first bundle of joy!  Throughout the past year it has been a true blessing to grow closer to the Lord and to each other during our time loss with our first miscarriage but now, we rejoice because we have been blessed with a precious life growing inside of me!

Charles and I are beyond excited about our new addition, that should be making his/her grand appearance in November, and we covet your prayers and support during these next 5-6 months and beyond!

And no, this is not primarily a pregnancy blog but I will be using it as a way to share updates on Baby Barrett's growth and any questions/situations that arise.

Okay, here's a little of our back story...
September 23, 2011 - Positive pregnancy test
November 8th, 2011 - Dr.'s appointment confirming miscarriage (blighted ovum)
November 11th, 2011 - Passed gestational sac, miscarriage complete

Insert a few months of prayer, sadness, wrestling with God feeling like our lives were flashing before our eyes.  Honestly, it felt like EVERYONE was pregnant and we were left out.  Questions arose in my mind, "maybe I was wrong all along, maybe the Lord never wanted me to be a mother, maybe I should just stop thinking I could even actually get pregnant, and if I do, by some miracle, then I'll change my attitude and be happy."  Wow, Satan is a lil stinker and he tried his best to sneak in and take over, to rob me of my joy and tear me down. We didn't look into any fertility specialists or even consult our doctor about medicine, we just prayed and "enjoyed being husband and wife" and let God take control!

December 1st, 2011 - Turned 25
December 20th, 2011 - Celebrated our 3rd anniversary

February 28th, 2012 - Positive Pregnancy test
March 14th, 2012 - First OB Appt. for our first ultrasound
April  12th, 2012 - 2nd OB Appt.

It's scary seeing the "real" me,  just woke up w/no make up... glad Charles still loves me!
Alright, lets break down those last 3 dates:

February 28th, 2012
I took the test, as I had been doing the last few months not expecting a positive outcome, I had the cheap Dollar Tree tests and I woke up and this time saw it was positive.  I know this sounds terrible, but I don't even think I cried.  Unless you have experienced the extreme joy, of thinking you were pregnant, and then experienced the gut wrenching loss of losing a pregnancy, you might not understand my emotions here.  This morning is a blur.  I think I woke up Charles, but I don't remember.  I was so guarded, what little joy I had seemed to be overcome by the overwhelming thoughts of, "but we may not be pregnant..."  So I called the doctor, gave them my information and said this was super early, about 4 weeks.

They had me come in a day or two after that to get blood work to see if my HCG levels were multiplying, and they were. This wasn't done last time, so I had nothing to compare to, other than crap I found online. So, they then picked a date, March 14th for us to come in for our first ultrasound to see if the pregnancy was viable.

March 14th, 2012
We had already told a few people, parents, life group, etc. about the possible pregnancy so we'd have some prayer warriors to combat our gloomy outlook.  We went to the same Dr. as last time, and sat and waited and waited and waited to get taken in.  They did minimal tests, height, weight, blood pressure, urine sample and sent me to the "GYN" side of the practice.  We waited and waited, and finally they took us back to the ultrasound room.  The Ultrasound Tech politely asked, "So, what are you guys in here for today?" hahaha I looked at Charles and was like... REALLY!? This was not a great start to the appointment.   She then said, "No, really, your documents don't tell me what you're in here for." Greaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttt, so we told her, we had a miscarriage 4 months ago and we just had a positive pregnancy test a few weeks ago and the Dr. wanted us to come in for an early ultrasound to see if this was a viable pregnancy...

Deep breath, my word, I felt like chopped liver! The tech was super nice and began the procedure.

The first image on the screen was an empty uterus, I looked at Charles and exclaimed "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?"  I was so upset and I couldn't believe my body, once again "faked pregnant". 

The tech then said "wait wait wait, I'm not there yet", to then reveal a tiny little lima bean shaped addition the screen.  Once again, I didn't cry.  My emotions were so numb that I didn't know what to do.  She did the entire work up, showed us many different things, took some measurements and confirmed a 6 week, 1 day embryo with a heartbeat of 117 that we could see, and hear, loud and clear... PRAISE GOD!

6 weeks and 1 day... see the tiny seed in the top left

Here's the detailed picture to help ya out :)
She gave us a ton of pictures and we left the room to talk to the Dr.  I don't think he called me Eeyore, but I could tell he saw the little gray cloud following close above my head.  He then scheduled us 4 weeks out for another ultrasound, blood work, insurance and said "Congratulations Momma and Daddy."

The weeks following were filled with I feel like I'm sleeping on a deep sea fishing boat restless nights, finding new semi-comfortable ways to sleep, trying to find foods that were actually appetizing to cook/eat.  Yes, I feel different from last time, I haven't uttered the words "I can't wait until I actually feel pregnant," this time around but I still wanted that confirmation.

April 12th, 2012

Amazing appointment! We got right in, put some jelly on my belly and up popped our little one :)
10 weeks and 2 day appointment, measuring 10 weeks 6 days!

Detailed picture again... my mom says she can't tell what's what :)

A little over 1.5 inches, arms and legs moving like crazy, and a heart rate of 175.  We are so thankful and so blessed!

May 1st, 2012
We had another appointment Tuesday and we'll find out the sex late May :) Baby Barrett should be about 3" long now.  We heard a strong heartbeat, very quickly (she didn't tell us the actual bpm, but guessed it was about 150).

We have been waiting so long to announce the good news on the blog/facebook! 

Please continue to have Charles and I in your prayers as well as our little one!  We are overjoyed to meet our new addition in November!

Sorry, I've been really bad at taking "belly" pictures.  I think I have one or two, but you can't really see anything, just bigger boobs and a thicker around the mid section! haha more pictures to come soon and we find out if we're having ...

on May 30th!

For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well. 
Psalm 139:13-14


  1. AHHH I'm so excited for you :). The Lord heals and provides. Congratulations!!!

  2. Yes ma'am!!! Thank you so much Sara! Your prayers and support have been so amazing, keep em coming :)

  3. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAAY! So excited! I have been praying for you and your family!

  4. thank you thank you thank you dear!

  5. kim, i dont think we have ever met but you might know my younger brother diego castro. i just wanted to let you know that i know the pain and healing of miscarriage. i will keep your growing family in prayers and know that God is in control and will take care of you both. Congratulations on your little bundle and enjoy the miracle of pregnancy.

  6. I am so happy for you and I am going to pray like crazy. I lost my third baby at 14 weeks. The pain stays with you always, but God works things out for good to those who believe. That baby would have been 12 in January. I went on to have another child after the loss, and Jonah is 11 and a joy to us (most days!) He would not be here if I had carried that sweet angel to term. God has a plan for Jonah, which is why he is named Jonah - which means Peacemaker. His middle name is Alexander which means Leader of Men. I hope he lives up to his name! May the Lord smile on you. I will be praying for all of you!

  7. Oh my goodness Gloria :( Sadly I don't want to even think of us experiencing another loss, especially so close to the 2nd trimester... that breaks my heart! But God is good and the way you love your kids and show them a Godly example by homeschooling and bragging on them is truly to be praised! We would have never prayed for our first miscarriage or hoped it would happen, but we sincerely hope God has great plans for this little one growing inside me! Keep the prayers coming pretty please!!!

  8. Vanessa,
    Thank you so much! Yes, I remember you and Diego... but you're correct, we didn't know each other well :) Thank you so very much for the support and encouragement!

  9. Hey Kim. I don't think we have met- I'm Olivia, Joseph Sutton's wife. I believe Joe's and Charle's grandmother's (on both their mother's side) were sisters. Ask Charles about Carrie and SA Parmore's grandson, Joe. I'm sure he will remember. Anyway, we are pregnant and due early November as well. I found out I'm prego March 5 and will be finding out the sex on June 4. This is our second, we have a 3 year old daughter. Looking forward to keeping up with your little miracle. Congratulations to both of you!

  10. Congrats Olivia! No, we haven't met... where do y'all live? There are so many relatives related to the "Browns" some I have only met once :) Praying for ya'll!