Pregnancy - 26 Weeks... Eek, First Update!

haha SO yes.  I'll agree...  2nd time around is a lot less "fun".  No, I haven't had a horrible pregnancy, very easy, just like with Brooke.  Chasing a toddler (23 month old) and trying to do anything fun and extra in regards to a new babe is close to impossible!  Plus, I haven't really had anything EARTH SHAKING to share on this ol' blog.  I'm doing my best to keep up with weekly pictures because I think it's fun to compare.  Also, it's hard to find unique questions for the 2nd go round, so I made up some of my own! Enjoy!

How far along? 26 Weeks & 5 days (I know, I hate I'm not doing it on the "exact" start of a new week this time around)

Total weight gain/loss: ehhh, errr, I'm trying not to think about that! I did do ZUMBA 3 times a week when I was pregnant with Brooke, I'm lucky to get a short work out in 2-3 times a week now. I like these. 

Maternity clothes?  Some.  I'm all about not spending much money, I some of my clothes are maternity hand-me-downs, but most are just stretchy clothes.

Stretch marks? Nope, bless you sweet child, bless you! 

Sleep: HA.  Ever since Brooke was born, I STINK AT SLEEPING!  

Best moment this week: MY 23 MONTH OLD IS BASICALLY POTTY TRAINED!!! Yep, dry days in REAL undies with a diaper worn at nap and night time.  I'm pretty happy, if you can't tell :) 

Miss Anything? The freedom to go out whenever I want and have a quick and successful shopping trip.  For real, I love Brooke but it was a heck of a lot easier to get in and out of a lot of stores in a short amount of time before she joined me as my partner in crime :) 

Movement: Yes, she's a wiggler! 

Food cravings: No, I haven't really had any this time around either. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not at all. 

Have you started to show yet: Yes, a lot higher than I was with Brooke, which makes me look like a blob.

Gender: Another sweet lil lady, Taylor Grace!

Labor Signs:  None. 

Belly Button in or out? Still in!  It's getting flatter though. 

Wedding rings on or off?  Still on, but getting tighter. 

Happy or Moody most of the time: This all depends on Brooke's temperament... I know, terrible.  haha If she's easy going and doesn't fuss, I'm good.  If she's fussy all day... I just want to be a lonely grump after she goes to bed. 

Looking forward to: Getting the girls rooms decorated and situated. Praying the transition from a crib to a twin bed is easy for Brooke! 

You Make Beautiful Things: Here We Grow Again

Sounds Like Life To Me: Miscarriage #2

Yep.  January 24th I had a positive pregnancy test.  Ever since Brooke was born we hadn't "prevented" getting pregnant, but nothing was happening. Yes, I nursed her until she was 13 months old but everything seemed to be working correctly.  haha anyways, long story short, I had a positive pregnancy test, found out according to my calculations I was 5-6 weeks along and we were not really excited.

With my first pregnancy, blighted ovum/miscarriage it has really jaded me and taken most of the joy out of seeing a positive pregnancy test.  I ALWAYS consider it false.  Well, the whole time I was pregnant with Brooke, I checked to see if I was bleeding each time I went to the bathroom.  It wasn't until she was in my arms that I believed I actually was with child.

So a few days went on and Monday, February 3rd rolled around and I started spotting.  I went to the Dr. they did a pregnancy test, congratulated me because it was positive and sent me home with a big packet of information.  Little did I know I would be back in the doctors office EVERYDAY that week with one thing or another.  I started BLEEDING Tuesday, and it continued and is still with me.  I was an exhausted human pin cushion who was being poked and prodded and I still didn't feel sad like last time.  I'm not sure what it was.  Oh yes, and I  had a strep like virus that required antibiotics and a reoccurring fever over 101.  It was a tough week.

I guess the word I keep thinking is "frustrated." I was frustrated with God because everyone else is having more kids, and I want more kids, though I can barely handle the one I have some days, frustrated that my body tricked me AGAIN that it was pregnant and it really wasn't.  Frustrated at the time I spent going back and forth to the doctor.  Frustrated that I slept poorly and was always cold.  Frustrated that I had to tote my child with me to doctors visits.  Frustrated that I wasn't going to be able to "spend time" with my husband until the pregnancy left my body.  Frustrated that I was now going to have my paperwork say "3 pregnancies and 1 birth".  Frustrated that I was sick and having a miscarriage and that my daughter wouldn't let me rest and life wouldn't stand still and laundry wouldn't clean itself and dinner wasn't always good or even ready on time.  It was just a terrible, horrible, no good very bad week!

All that to say,  I was frustrated but it was all silly, worthless things to be frustrated at and I got over it all very quickly.  I wish I could say it was because the Holy Spirit got a hold of me and reminded me that God is in control and that everything was going to be okay.  Yes, that was part of it.  The other part was looking down, holding, laughing at, and looking in the mirror at my mini-me, Brooke.  Yep, I remember, I had a miscarriage once, then I had a flawless pregnancy and labor and now a child.  Life goes on.  Also, the statistics of the amount of women who have miscarriages is still shocking to me.  So I deem it as "normal" now for me.  So I can get over it and get on with life easier.

One song that I heard that really spoke to me after an appointment was this, Worn, by Tenth Avenue North.
Tenth Avenue North - Worn (Official Music Video) from tenth-avenue-north on GodTube.

Charles asked me one time, "Kim, when do you feel God.  I responded quickly because I knew the answer so tenderly... "when I hold Brooke."  We normally lay Brooke down at night and let her fuss until she falls asleep.  But some days, some nights, I just hold her.  She's all worked up but suddenly melts into my arms and chest and is silent, and still.  She is peaceful in my arms and she knows she can rest in my protection.  One night last week I did just that.  Selfishly, I needed to feel God.  I needed His warmth around me, I needed his peace and simplicity to cover all of my frustration and sadness and heal me.  So I entered Brooke's room as she was fussing herself to sleep, picked her up and sunk deep into God's love.  The image I have is God holding me, just has I held my child.  He is my peace, my comfort and my place I go to when life's just too much.  He reminds me to be still.

So that's the update on our life right now.  We pray with open arms and hearts.  I write posts like this for me.  I need them.  They help me with closure and healing.  We are surrendering our wills and laying down our desires and seeking God's will to be done in our lives.

Sounds like Life to me: Wrong Profession?

Okay, I've debated and debated about writing this, but I finally realized, like most things, that once I get it off my chest and surrender it to the Lord, it helps me move on.

Today, no this week, I feel like my "boss" is telling me I'm in the wrong profession.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE working the morning and being at home with Brooke for the rest of the day, but apparently I suck at it.  At daycare, they consistently get her to take at least an hour nap in the morning... I get maybe 40 minutes from her and then that ruins any chance of a good afternoon nap.  Yes, I know she has been sick, but when I'm sick, I want to sleep.  Either Brooke loves me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much she just can't bear to close her eyes, or I'm terrible at reading her sleepy cues and screwing her of a good nap in the morning and afternoon.

Oh yes, and did I mention I've somehow messed up the whole night time sleep thing too? haha yeah regardless of the time I put Brooke down at night, she wakes up at 5:30 on.the.dot.  Okay, almost on the dot.  So lets recap.  Around 10 hours of sleep at night and maybe 2 hours naps during the day = 12 hours total.  MOST other people have their children sleeping 12 hours at night and 3-4 hours during the day = 15.5 hours.  And it's not that she's playing in her crib, so she's  fussing and crying and won't rest.  Then I try to get her to sleep in my arms, and she just wants to play with my face and make me laugh. UGH.  SO either Brooke just doesn't need a lot of sleep or I am clueless on how to get my child the proper amount of sleep.

My house is a mess, I haven't plucked my eyebrows in who knows when, and I honestly feel like anyone else could fix this sleep issue but for some reason, not me.  Yes.  I am whining and complaining because I feel like a bad mom.  I am hardly contributing financially and our precious child's schedule is so inconsistent, I feel like I messed up some how.  Yes, she can walk, smiles and plays all day, can say 10-15 words, but when it comes to sleeping, I missed the memo and am doing something wrong.  I've given up on reading articles/blogs and books on sleep.  Been there, done that... none of it works for me.

And yes, she is napping now.  It only took me an hour and 15 minutes, a diaper change, busting out the bottles that were stored away, thawing expressed milk, holding her til she was almost asleep and then sitting with my hand on her back until she was all of the way asleep.  And I'm guessing it will only be a 30 minute nap.  Mommy fail.

With all that said, Lord, help me to be a better child.  Help me to listen to you and seek your peace, patience and wisdom.  Allow me to see where I need to adjust things in my life to be a better Mom and Wife and create more harmony in my home.  God, please take away the doubt that is in my mind right now and the terrible feeling I have that I am worthless at raising our child.  Reveal to me, if it is your will what Brooke needs or what I need to do to make nap time less of a battle and get the proper amount of sleep for this child.  God I love you, especially because you hear my silly prayer and smile.  You are full of patience and remind me daily that I am not in control.  Amen.

Growin' Like a Weed: 12 Months

Height: 27 3/4"

Weight: 16lbs 15oz

Likes: Sweet Potato Puffs (seriously, every other time we walk into the kitchen she points to the pantry and grunts until we go over and get some!  Brooke loves animals!  Any random person walking their dog in the neighborhood is free game for a Brooke smile and squeal! She welcomes their slobbery kisses with delight! We have a local pet store and B likes to go and see the bunnies, kittens and hamsters.  She's STILL a Mama's girl and still loves anything soft!  Wait... I forgot to add this important fact... BROOKE LIKES TAKING A BATH NOW! Yes, NO TEARS! She'll play and splash and she actually sits down now!  This is sweet relief, I mean really.  It only took 12 months for this child to enjoy getting a bath! 

Dislikes: Still hates getting her finger nails trimmed :(  Doesn't really care for eating from a spoon/being fed (Miss Independent)  Ahhh here's one I never put in this series of blog posts - Brooke DOES NOT LIKE THE SUN IN HER EYES!  Seriously, she FREAKS if we're driving or in the stroller and the slightest sliver of sun flashes across her eyes.  You would think someone was torturing her!  She immediately arches her back and blows a gasket if the bright rays decide to intrude in her personal space.  But, she loves being outside on a sunny day.  If you can't tell, Brooke's a wildcard.  All. The. Time.  You never know what's going to push her buttons! haha 

Sleeping: Still 2 naps a day and 10-11 hours at night.  She started this new separation anxiety type thing and fights sleeping unless you're touching her or right by her crib.  We've had to start a modified cry it out/check system again to ensure we get sleep at night.  This involves A LOT of conversation before naps/beds trying to soothe her and explain that she's safe and protected in her bed and praises "wow what a big girl sleeping so good in your crib!" when she wakes up.  

Eating: Brooke LOVES food, most days!  The only way I can tell a tooth is about to pop is if she doesn't eat well.  Seriously, she's not a fussy teether at all!  It's awesome! Her pain tolerance is amazing!  She'll eat near bout anything, except if it's something semi solid on a spoon... it hits the floor with her agressive FLING before making it to her mouth!  Right now, Brooke's favorite is a turkey sandwich I made up one day (half a piece of wheat bread, half a slice of turkey, pumpkin spice cream cheese, cut into tiny pieces) Seriously, she hoovers it!  Oh yes, and Brooke only nurses morning and night and gets sippy cups of thawed breast milk other times during the day.  I think I'll introduce whole milk soon.  By the way, Aunt Flo has only come once... I'm still waiting or this month, she's late!

Playing: Little love is getting a lot more independent! Some days.  haha she always loves playing with Mom and Dad but sometimes we catch her off in her own world exploring, which is great!  She likes all of her soft stuffed animals and is enjoying her new toys from her birthday!  A lot of times, she chooses to read with us during play time, it's adorable!  We read the same books over and over again.  Any given week, we read 5 stories (though she has over 50). She chooses her favorites for a while, and then we don't touch them for another few weeks!  She points to what she wants and if you pick one she doesn't want to read, she rudely pushes it away and reaches for the one she wants!  Some days we hold up 2 or 3 and let her pick, it's fun!   75% of the time, Brooke can accurately tell me the noise a dog, cat, elephant and chicken make!  She loves talking!  

Welp, that's all folks!  I'm stopping at 12 months. I enjoyed it and hope to look back at these for future babies, whenever the Lord decides to bless us! Thanks for your interest in our sweet girl! 

Growin' Like a Weed: 11 Months

Height: 26 1/2"

Weight: roughly 16 lbs

Likes: Holy moly... this child LOVES to be outside! Seriously, even when it's cool and drizzling rain, her little precious finger points to the door as she grunts instructing you that she NEEEEEDS to be outside.  I swear, EVERYONE in the neighborhood is waved to atleast 50 times a day. If people don't know us personally, they know that we're the house with the baby ALWAYS outside on the front porch that waves.  Brooke also LOVES stuffed animals and blankets, the softer the better!  Big Teddy is a favorite at the moment and so is our neighbor Courtney's fleece coat that Brooke snatches as Courtney gets off the bus in the afternoon.  And yes, the bus.  Brooke wakes up from her afternoon nap juuuuust in time for the barrage of school busses.  She simply adores them!

Dislikes: Getting her hair washed! Please. SOMEONE COME TEACH US HOW TO MAKE THIS CHILD ENJOY BATH TIME!  Seriously.  It takes MORE TIME TO FILL UP THE BATH TUB 1/4 OF THE WAY THAN THE ENTIRETY OF HER TIME IN THE TUB. And she also sincerely dislikes getting her nails filed or trimmed.  You know, I always wondered about the lady in the Guinness Book of World Records with the longest finger nails.  I bet you her mom had a tough time clipping her nails as a baby and she just gave up and let them grow.  Don't be surprised if you see Brooke's picture in that book one day!

Sleeping: Ehh, she has her good days, she has her bad days.  A GOOD day is 1.5 hour nap in the morning and a 1.5 hour nap in the afternoon then 11 hours of sleep. A BAD day is no nap at daycare, and a 30 minute catnap in my arms as a result of sheer exhaustion from fighting sleep for so long.  I still love watching her sleep in the video monitor.  Some may think that's creepy, but I love seeing her wiggle and squirm to a comfy spot and cuddle with Teddy.  I just hope I don't have to share a bed with her one day, she's seriously all over the place in her sleep!  

Eating:  Well, Brooke was eating like crazy and seemed uninterested in nursing in the afternoon, so I cut out a feeding.  "Aunt Flo" returned and I've also stopped pumping at work.  Brooke is now down to nursing 3 times a day and drinking her "milk" from a sippy cup at daycare! No more bottles! Way to go B!  She loves food too! The more flavorful, the better!  Her favorite food is cheese (my child)! She's funny.  One day she'll LOVE a certain food, then the next day she can't stand it.  She cracks us up! She also likes playing during meal time.  She takes her spoon and hides it in her seat until we say "Brooke, where's your spoon?" then, with a goofy grin on her face, she pulls it out and shows it to you (and repeats this 20 more times) until you distract her with more food. 

Playing: As stated before, Brooke loves being outside! She likes climbing in to her little chair or standing on furniture and dancing or standing without holding on.  She enjoys reading and cuddling with pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals. She's much better at playing independently with Daddy than Mommy. B enjoys riding her 4 wheeler (inside and outside) and has a good time pulling things out of her toy box.  She's pretty darn amazing and we absolutely ADORE her!

Growin' Like a Weed: 10 Months

Height: 

Weight: 

Likes: Playing with her toys in her toy box, ANYTHING SOFT (pillows, Teddy, Puppy, Teddy Bear, the caterpillar at daycare, blankets) it's hilarious how much she loves soft objects.  She also started pointing at everything and will basically show you exactly what she wants to do next.  Brooke also has started to say a few words!  We officially and accurately have MaMa, Dada, papa, book, ball, truck, uh oh, uh oh dada, byebye, and hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ... it's pretty adorable and AMAZING to hear her ask for things!  Brooke really likes animals!  She's never met a dog or a cat she doesn't love and try to chase after!  She adores their wet kisses and just wants to crawl all over them and squeeze them (note, we don't have pets so we have no clue where her love and fascination for animals comes from).  Brooke likes being outside and looking at the rain and laughing when it thunders.  She's fearless! She's strangely fascinated with her Scooby Doo book right now.  Seriously chick points to it EVERYTIME we ask her what book she wants to read!  Between that and Baby's Goodnight Blessings Flap Book, that's all we read!  She's great at turning the pages and pointing to the flaps in the book!

Dislikes: Getting her hair washed/water in her eyes. Or really taking a bath in general :(  She's not a fan of being alone.  There are some days, okay, MOST DAYS she'll erupt if we're out of sight.  Sweet girl also has had trouble napping lately and has to be held to sleep (and then will only nap 30 minutes).  I guess she's just so excited to play and learn she can't wind down to rest.  She also doesn't like getting her hands and face wiped off after eating.  The car... STILL!  

Sleeping: Most days are great!  Normally an hour nap in the morning and a 1.5 hour nap in the afternoon and 11 hours and night!  Yes, we wish she would sleep in on the weekends but we really can't complain.  She's been waking up for about an hour in the middle of the night again, which is really annoying, but she puts herself back to sleep after she's done playing, singing, pulling up and cruising on her crib and yes, fussing.  

Eating:  Brooke LOVES food! She's a great eater and really enjoys meal time! From chicken to peas, this child eats a variety of foods and has yet to have a reaction.  I can't recall the last time I fed her from a spoon.  She is so good at self feeding and rarely makes a mess!  After she finishes the food on her plate, we wipe off her hands and clean up, when we pick her up we look together to see what food dropped in her seat and she has a 2nd meal! haha she loves eating the few pieces she let slide past her hands!  Brooke holds and drinks well from her sippy cup and a straw!  She learned how to blow bubbles in my cup and drink from a straw very well.  She can also play a "harmonica"! Still nursing every 3 hours during the day and none at night. "Aunt Flo" still hasn't come to visit me either... 

Playing: Once Brooke is fed and rested, she's ready to go! She always enjoys climbing up to her toybox and picking out her favorite toys (it's normally a tiny washcloth, a blue wooden ring, or a small plastic smiley face shaker ball).  Brooke loves to keep something clenched in her right hand.  She enjoys crawling and pulling up on everything, clapping, singing, and holding our hands and walking around.  Brooke isn't very shy in unfamiliar places. Though she does fuss when we drop her off at "school" or the church nursery (for 30 seconds or so). She loves to be tickled or thrown on the couch.  Brooke enjoys making funny faces in the mirror and any toy that makes a noise. She likes playing fun games Daddy makes up and likes it when he wrestles with her and tosses her around.  Brooke still loves to go outside and watch the cars, trucks, busses, and lawn mowers in the neighborhood.  I feel like the unofficial welcoming committee, because we're always waving at people!